Home Sweet Home!

I am back! Did you know that I was gone? My dear friends decided that after staying at home with my kids for the past 8 years that it was time for me to have a break. Their eyes just about popped out of their heads when I told them that I had never been away from all my kids in 8 years unless I was at the hospital having another one.

Two months ago they had invited me to a scrapbooking weekend away. I had declined at first, because of 2 very valid reasons (well really one was valid and one seemed valid at the time). One reason was that it was a little too pricey for frugal me to spend, especially during this season of life that we are in.

The other reason was that I didn't like the idea of leaving my husband alone with all 4 kids by himself for the whole weekend. Don't get me wrong, he is a highly capable father. He just works a lot, being self employed, and well let's just say this politely. I take care of the home. I am the mother duck. I say, they do. I like this authority. I like making sure everyone is fed, clothed, bathed (this story coming next), and loved. I am not sorry to say that "IT IS MY JOB!!!! AND I LIKE IT". All this to say that my dear friends saw that I needed some persuasion. They got together and paid for me to go with them. That was the easy part. The tough part was convincing my dear husband that I was going to be gone for almost 3 days. He, in the end, knew that I needed to go. So I went!

Some of you might be saying things like, you poor thing, or you really need a break. I did REALLY enjoy myself, and I will be going again next year. I just wanted to give some clarity here. I find that a lot of stay-at-home moms are unhappy with their roles. I am not going to judge anyone on their decision to stay at home or not. It isn't my business. I can just tell you how I look at my own family and hope that someone might gain from what I have already been through.

When I had my first born, I used to think if I could make it 5 years with her, I would be ok. In five years, she would be in school and life could begin again. I could then go back and pick up my life long long dream of medical school. Then child number 2 came. So that isn't so bad. It only added 2 more years at home alone with the kids. I could make it right? Then #3 came and eventually #4. If I had put all my kids in public school, I would be at home with kids for 10 years at least, not including summer breaks. This seemed daunting to me.

I had all these babies and then forgot to find a way to enjoy them outside of cuddling and loving them. My attitude sucked (Sorry mom, for 18 years I waited to say this word, and I no longer feel guilty about it!). I saw a glimpse of my day, and it was sad and scary at the same time. I saw that from 8am to 8pm I was trying to find things for them to do to stay busy. I wanted them to be out of the way, so I could get MY things done. I felt like a broom, sweeping them in their directions if they ever came around, when "I" had so much work to do or "I" had someone to talk to on the phone. I found that my priority was "me" and not "them". I knew that change had to come. I chose this job. I chose to be married to my loving man, and have his children. I chose to stay home and raise them to the best of my ability. I chose to have 4 of them. I could choose to raise them like the gifts they are, or I could choose to barely make it through my day with them. I then decided it was time to "walk on water" with my job and stop trying to "doggy paddle" through this God given role. These kiddos can be raised to change the world, and I have the power to give them wings or smother them with my bad attitude.

But how? I still have to find answers to this all the time. One thing that is so easy is reading to them. This is one of those things that seems too easy. It seems like the short line at the store that your afraid won't be short at all. We make a big deal out of this time. They spread a blanket out on the floor and place pillows all over it. Sometimes I pick a book and sometimes they do. I made sure with birthdays and holidays that we received books that we enjoy. I can't tell you how many times I have read Dr Seuss books in this house. They never get old, even when you're about to turn 28.

One of my best suggestions for this is the book, "Honey for a Child's Heart" by Gladys Hunt. It is a great list of books that are classics and every child would love to hear. I bring it to the library every time we go. Gladys also has this great quote that helped curve my attitude some more, "Give them milk and honey!" Milk symbolizes the physical needs: feeding, bathing, sleeping. Honey symbolizes the sweetness of life, that special quality that makes life sing with enjoyment for all it holds.

There are many options for enjoying your family more. The more you plan to do things that more you will reap the benefits. Go the park, have a picnic, read to them. If you think there isn't enough time to get it all done and play, ask your kids to help. They are much more willing to help you, when there is something to look forward to.

Don't get me wrong here. I am far, far from perfecting this. I still get really busy doing things. This house is always dirty in my eyes. Bathrooms need cleaning, laundry never ends, dusting, mopping, and picking up clutter is always happening. All of this takes up days and days of my life. I am learning that I can still make time for my kids, because they are my priority. I just have to get really creative to do it all.

Ok I am done with my ranting now. This turned into something that I didn't expect and if I don't push "publish post" now I won't do it!